Self-Consciousness has stifled my progress. I’ve always been a people-pleaser to everyone but myself. I’ve always had a radical side that I’ve been afraid to let out because of what people may think about it. I was afraid that I would have…..haters.
I remember seeing those “Haters are My Motivators” pictures and people posting thank yous to their Haters and think that it was so stupid. I recall even posting a note on my Facebook years ago calling for people to stop worrying about the Haters and to acknowledge and cater to their Lovers. Well it took me a while, but I get it. As the song says: “if you ain’t got no Haters you ain’t poppin.” Ain’t nothing wrong with having haters. They come with the territory. This is why they are important gauges of your success:
They hate you cuz they ain’t you.
When people have a deficiency, they want to feel normal so they tend to look for the flaws in others. They aren’t willing to put in the effort to be great so they try to knock you so that they feel better about their situation.
They are just the loudest and most fickle of your Lovers.
As a Lover, they will hold you to a certain standard. because they associate themselves with you, you somewhat represent them. So they want to let you know when you ain’t reppin right. They don’t mind criticizing in public because they want you to stay on top of your game. They are the sharpeners to your knife. Pay attention when they catch you slippin.
That’s just how hard they love you and what you represent to them.
Sometimes the Hater is a Lover resistant to change. You grow and evolve and refine yourself over time and some Lovers have a hard time accepting that. They miss the old you. They want you to stay within the lines of their idea of who you are and what you are all about. That’s when they flip and disclaim you. Its cool though because they’ll still keep checking for you.
They don’t really know you.
Some people are just band-wagoners. They hear something someone else doesn’t like about you and turn it into an entire basis to not like you themselves. I recently saw a breakdown of why “The Karate Kid” was the real villain in the movie and his foe was actually the good guy. Naturally, most would assume that from the perspective of the guy the movie is centered around that he is the guy to root for. People tend to go with the crowd if they have yet to form their own opinion. This can be an opportunity. Give them a real reason to love or hate you. That way they have an emotional response to you rather than an impassive one that they got from someone else.
I still feel that Lovers are the most important people to worry about but the haters can’t be neglected. The key is to focus on the Lovers, while acknowledging the Haters. Haters need love too.